The dance

As I explore your body

All I find is beauty

 

I kiss your eyes

Your nose

Linger on your lips

Inhaling deeply…..slowly

Willing time to stop so I can breathe you in

My teeth meet your neck

As your blood vessel explodes

I kiss the reminding blush

My hands find yours

And vowing to never let them go

I move closer

I taste your breath

It warms my soul

Our bodies are parallel with heaven

Here on earth

 

“No one can go to hell for you”

 

I am so tired of fighting

Every day is a struggle

I am barely breathing and slowly dying

This war that has been going on for eternity is wearing me out

I am simply asking

For the truth to be heard, acknowledged

 

Do not tell me how to serve God

It is my soul that will perish

Under your teaching

I shall riot in hell

Preaching your lies

If your word is so sound

Why not hear my questions?

Your answers do not add up

Arbitrary traditions should cease

What are you trying to prove?

To whom?

Why?

If God is all that matters, why the show?

Enjoy every moment spent on earth

For your soul shall spend eternity in hell

 

masquerade

Looking into your eyes

I saw through your masquerade

I looked passed your material cover ups

And saw into you

 

You're just scared, like the rest of us

Yet you pretend to be above it all

You claim to told all the answers

You think we are the lost ones

But my poor boy

It is you

You and your untrusting ways

Your lies have corrupted your fate

This fake tower you've built shall crumble

And you will be there naked and shamed

I AM Paul

I am Paul.

The least of them...

My sins exceed the stars in the sky

I've done nothing to promote your kingdom

Yet everyday with my actions, I denounced thee

From my mouth lies and lust spills

 

I am unworthy of your love

 

But grace and mercy

 

On me you spill

random

Where does beauty lie?

Wherever you find it

In the oddest places it appears

I usually see it when I'm up side down

In a frown

A tear

You can catch a hint of it in ones fears

 

Happiness is a disguise for misery

So it's solemnly there

Yesterday I found beauty in a smile

It was no ordinary smile

You could tell that smile was rare

On this face it rarely appeared

But the way the light hit his face

You could tell all memories of the past

Just then were erased

Then he looked at me

From then I became part of his memory

I wonder, how will he remember me?

Life is a series of CHOICES

I've come to understand that life is a struggle between good and evil. Every day, whether we are conscious of it or not, we make a series of choices. We choose what to wear, eat, drink, etc... Some choices that we make hold more importance then others, such as the choice to do right or wrong. It seems so easy to sin by lying, stealing or giving into temptation. I noticed this and I began to believe that human beings were innately evil. Yet once I took a closer look, I saw that there is a war raging within us, a battle between good and evil. I came across a story while reading The Devil and Miss Prym by Paul Coelho, which perfectly fit this situation.


The conversation below is between a vicious guy named Ahab (evil) and a saint name Savin (good):


Ahab asked Savin:


"If, tonight, the most beautiful prostitute in the village came in here, would you be able to see her as neither beautiful nor seductive?"


"No, but I would be able to control myself," the saint replied.


"And if I offered you a pile of gold coins to leave your cave in the mountain and come and join us, would you be able to look on that gold and see only pebbles?"


"No, but I would be able to control myself."


"And if you were sought by two brothers, one of whom hated you, and the other who saw you as a saint, would you be able to feel the same towards them both?"


"It would be very hard, but I would be able to control myself sufficiently to treat them both the same."


"A saint is just a sinner who fell down, and got up". Many people look at saints and think that they are flawless, yet all have fall short of the glory of God. No one on the face of the earth is without sin, so we are all unworthy to judge. However, the difference between a saint and a sinner is the choices they make. As demonstrated in the story above, even saints are tempted yet they CHOOSE the right path. They are fully aware of their flesh, but with the free will God has given us all they stand strong. It would be a lie for one to say they were never tempted to do wrong. Saying that you didn't notice the woman in the red dress is simply a lie. God is not asking us to not be aware of sin or to never have a sinful thought, what he wants from us is to CONTROL ourselves.


I ask you, who suffers more? A person who has never taken drugs to avoid it or an addict? Who should be rewarded more?

God is LOVE

Today I discovered love

I discovered that I was created in love

By love

For it and I was one

I discovered that love longs to be in my presence

That I am all love thinks of

 

Today I got a better understanding of love

We spent time together

Love held me and caressed my soul

My pain was destroyed with loves touch

Love whispered to me

And the wind blew my hair

Love took my hand and told me of nothing should I fear

 

Today I discovered love

When I needed love the most

When all the world slipped away

When there was no one to cry to

When life gave up on me

Love took me in its arms

And whispered in my ear

"I am LOVE"

"I am God"

THERE’S A THIN LINE BTW. FRIENDS and Enemies

Have you ever heard of the term frienemy?


According to the Urban Dictionary, a Frienemy is a "toxic" person who poses as a friend but subconsciously or consciously wishes you harm. I'm sure that most of us have this type of person in our lives, but are often unaware of it. Here are some signs of a frienemy:

1. When they call you, it's only to talk about themselves or their problems
   


2. When you talk to them about a problem, they always find a way to focus your situation on them
   


3. When something good happens to you and you tell your supposed friend, they seem less then excited for you
   


4. Anything positive that happens to you, they try their best to show you the negative side
   


5. If you're in a relationship and you go to that friend for advice, they will immediately advise you to break up with the person to ensure you're unhappy.
   


6. They will always advise you to wear less flattering clothes then themselves, for bogus reasons.
   


7. They will never put you on to good opportunities that they have come across, yet they will be sure to flaunt it in your face.
   


8. They always seem bored with things going on in your life, unless it's about drama or heartache
   

Does any of these characteristics sound familiar?


Have you noticed them in a friend or even in yourself?

Somethings we sell are lost forever

"…men and women sell their time, but can never buy it back…."

The above quote was taken from a book I recently finished reading, ELEVEN MINUTES by Paulo Coelho.


While reading the book I came across this quote many times, and each time I paused. Probably because this quote is so painfully true. Most people I know think of me as a "free spirit", I hate to be tired down to anything, whether it is a job or a person. It is not because I'm afraid of committing to someone (what does committing mean anyway?), but because I know that time is the most precious thing which we don't have enough of. With this knowledge, I am very careful of how I spend my time. Yet what I don't understand is why do so many people waste so much of it?


Time spend making yourself happy is always time well spend. What I do believe to be a huge waste of time is doing something you HATE in the name of securing a future. I'm sure you all have heard that tomorrow nor today is promised to us, but I'm not convinced that everyone understands this. If you're always focusing on the future, how can you live in the present? YOU CAN'T! As for me, I try to be mindful of my past, hopeful for my future and enjoy every present moment. We "sell" our time to family, friends, employers, lovers and even people we can't stand. Just keep in mind that everything we sell cannot be brought back.

DEATH TO THE WRITER!

All is well…


No sadness


No loneliness


No tears


No sleepless nights


No heartbreak


No failures


No depression


No fears


Not a care in the world


All is at peace


No racial tension


No gender discrimination


No injustice


When the day comes that these things are true


All writers will cease to exist


If we lived in a perfect world there would be no need


Till that day comes


I shall remind armed with my PEN!

HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE FOR A ♥ TO HEAL?

I once read somewhere, that for every year you
spent with someone it takes a month to get over them. That seems so ridiculous to me. So much happens in a year. You can fall in love in a day, so imagine being with someone 4 a year? How can you give a time frame for heartbreak? Time doesn't heal all wounds. Even the wounds that are healed with time, marks still remain. Though you'll stop crying someday & stop wishing life to end. You'll always remember that person and the mark they left on your life. So how long does it take a ♥ to heal? I say NEVER. Some things are too fragile to be fixed. You can patch the wound, but a piece will forever be missing.

DO YOU STICK TO THE "ITS OVER" RULE?

[caption id="attachment_57" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEoLIzgzUZuTUG9TvJjXn4NdAb-tjHchOIeTFy-E6t_upKCBKF6gZxR20HUei9H-JP3k08F9Zzfnwbbd9FGjCurCfJSZiMrAsNhyphenhyphenacAPrbwkM2WYNk6d1UwAKZyNGqH4XWmChOF8vRIG0/s400/sewing_a_broken_heart.jpg"][/caption]

Some "rules" tends to cross over to gray areas and things start to seem unclear. Once you've broken up with someone, should you stick to your decision and accept 'its over!" ? Is it healthy to remain friends with an ex?

These questions occurred to me because many of my friends [myself included] have broken the rule, countless times. You know the drill, immediately after you break up you feel liberated. Then soon after you hear "our song", or catch a hint of their perfume and suddenly you think you need them in your life again. You debate about it for a couple of days, then you finally give in and send a text saying 'wassup" or "how are you". Sooner then later your calling and things seems to be back how they were. Yet, YOUR NOT BACK TOGETHER!!! So when your hanging out [as friends], and a guy/girl calls their phone you get upset and emotional. You suddenly realize things are not the same, you are no longer together and they are no longer committed to you.

so.... SHOULD YOU STICK TO THE ITS OVER RULE? From experience i say YES YOU SHOULD! Sometimes things will remind you of good times share with an ex. However you must remember, that person is a ex for a reason. So my best advice is REMEMBER THE REASON...& MOVE ON.

MY LOVE AFFAIR

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger, is the first book i fell in love with. witty and often bitter Holden Caulfield, was so enlightening and entertaining. After reading this book i decided that maybe teachers weren't using books as a weapon of torture. Books became my escape. unable to put a good book down, i often found myself falling asleep and waking with one on my chest. With my new found love, i was able to travel the world, experience new and exciting cultures, was introduced to new styles of writing and so much more. To this day i cannot walk into a bookstore or library without pausing for a moment and taking in its beauty. So many great minds gathering together on selves. every idea, philosophy, theory at my finger tips. it pains me so much that many people don't share my love for reading. there's so much to be discovered between book covers. how can we progress if we do not read? in order to write we must first learn to read, and by reading and writing we develop our speech.  if these arts are given up, all we shall know is the lazy language of Instant Messaging. WITH THAT SAID......
I've decided to write a short list of some of my favorite books. hopefully those of you who are not fond of reading will be brave and read a few. I'm sure you will not be disappointed!!! =) AND...
My fellow book lovers, PLEASE SUGGEST SOME MORE BOOKS SO I CAN ADD TO MY READING LIST!! THANKS!! :-D
[THE BOOKS ARE RANDOMLY LISTED]

1. The Fountain Head by Ayn Rand
   


2. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
   


3. Anthem by Ayn Rand
   


4. Angels & Demons by Dan Brown
   


5. Nervous Conditions by Tsitsi Dangarembga
   


6. Inheritance of Loss by Kiran Desai
   


7. The Shack by William P. Young
   


8. 
   
   Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
   
   
   
   

INSANITY....and other diasters

[caption id="attachment_66" align="alignright" width="280" caption="http://i222.photobucket.com/albums/dd128/nh0cke01102/alone.jpg"][/caption] INSANITY IS THE INABILITY TO RELATE TO OTHERS.

WHAT KEEPS US SANE IS THE RELATIONSHIPS WE ARE CONSTANTLY FORMING AND MAINTAINING WITH OTHERS. IF EVER WE STOP LONGING FOR FRIENDSHIP, INTIMACY, LOVE, OR A SIMPLE CONVERSATION WITH ANOTHER HUMAN BEING, WE ARE THOUGHT OF AS "CRAZY". THERE ARE MORE CRAZY PEOPLE AROUND US THEN WE MAY BE AWARE OF. EVER BEEN AROUND A PERSON WHO IS COMPLETELY DETACHED FROM EVERYTHING???

• THEY COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS
  
• NEVER WATCHES T.V.
  
• DOESN'T OWN A PHONE
  
• NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO HOLD A CONVERSATION WITH
  

MOST OF  THEES PEOPLE MAKE YOU FEEL EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE JUST BEING AROUND THEM. THEY SEEM TO BE IN ON SOMETHING THAT THE REST OF THE WORLD IS TOTALLY UNAWARE OF. ITS AS IF THEY KNOW THAT THINGS THAT ARE VALUED SO MUCH, IS WORTH NOTHING AT ALL. PEOPLE SPEND SO MUCH AND EMOTION ON SILLY THINGS LIKE, 1,000 DOLLAR SHOES, BAGS, TRENDS OR WONDERING WHO HAS WHAT AND DOING ALL IN THEIR POWER TO GET "IT" BEFORE ANYONE ELSE. NOT KNOWING THAT THEY ARE SIMPLY FULFILLING PREDESTINED ROLES LAID OUT FOR THEM. THE SAME ITEM ONE SPENDS 500 DOLLARS TO OWN WAS MADE FOR 10 DOLLARS. BUYING THINGS BECAUSE IT IS THE "TREND" OR "COOL", YET I ASK YOU "SAYS WHO???".
WHAT BEAUTIFUL MINDS HAVE BEEN LOST IN IGNORANCE. WHERE IS THE VALUE IN BOOKS? IN KNOWLEDGE? WHY IS THAT FAR TOO MANY FEELS IT IS OK TO NOT READ??? YET SOMEHOW IT IS PERFECTLY NORMAL TO WASTE ONES DAY AWAY STARRING AT A T.V.
IF INSANITY IS THE INABILITY TO RELATE TO OTHERS, I FEAR I MAY BE COMPLETELY INSANE.
RELATING TO A WORLD FULL OF STUPIDY IS SOMETHING I NEVER WISH TO DO.

MAYBE

Maybe if I lie still enough


I'll no longer have to breathe


I'll no longer feel pain in every direction


My heart will no longer hurt


Maybe my world will turn right side up


Maybe…jus MAYBE


I can rewind time


See you just once more


Tell you how I've loved you my whole life


Tell you how proud I am to have called you my DAD


Tell you that everyday your gone I'm hurting


Missing you


Longing for your warmth


When the burdens of the world is too much


I can no longer ran into your arms


Daddy's little girl is all grown up


Maybe…just MAYBE


I can hear your laugh once again


See your smile


Hear your advice


Listen to your every single word


That now holds so much meaning


Maybe you would share with me the secrets of life


Maybe there are no secrets


Maybe we just live and do the best we can


To absorb every moment


Cherish every day


Love thyself fully


Because tomorrow isn't promised today


Maybe…jus MAYBE


If I lie still enough


Ill soon realize


That life is about MOVEMENT


And if I lay still long enough


It will surely pass me by


We don't get second chances


I once heard
"LIFE ISN'T A REHEARSAL"


I CANNOT rewind time


You will NEVER return


My heart WILL forever be broken


…Guess I'll take it as another lesson learned

tHe trAgedy

LIFE is not a MYSTERY


Every question has an answer


There is no beauty…


Nothing to chase after


LIFE is MISERY


Undeserving for some


Deserving for most


It's a tragedy


To live life


Never living at all


Cause once you've taken your last breath


Memories of you with others


Is all you'll have left


Ashes to ashes


Dust to dust


Your life has no meaning


Yet living's a MUST

RaBBit HOle

I wish I would have known

Before I placed my bet

That this shiiit hurts so much

I'VE FALLEN

And I can't seem to find

My way out of love

They say you'll get over it….someday

When does my someday began?

Never been the emotional type

So I stay faded

The love you gave was jaded

So now were split apart

Forever separated

COCKY son of a bItCH

I guess you just cant help
That your so fucking coo
beyond belief
I cant help that im attracted to your greatest
Your my gOtdamn weakness
Oh yes I lack meekness
But I won't find myself tellin'
You this shit face to face
so ill waste my time
writing this shiiit for you
that you'll never come across
nor hear of
nor know exists, for that matter
you cocky son of a bitch.......

Dear Brother,

Disgust is what I feel when I look at you

Your beautiful brown skin

You torment with bleach

Strains of your present sins are slowly seeping… into your soul

And you think they fear you?

Well they use to

When you stood tall and knew who you were

Instead of fighting them

You kill each other

Your very brother…

Now you're confused as they sit back and laugh at you

How can I look you in the eyes?

Shame fills my lungs as I speak of you

Wishing for your demised

Praying for the death of your ignorance

What other choice have I?

Call me out my name

No longer "my sister'

Instead I'm "mama", "shawty" or "bitch"!

Though far we have come

Yet our minds in slavery reminds

Why trade our beautiful thick hair

For straight lies?

Yet staring in your brown eyes I see no shame

If your brother is a nigga, niggers we'll all remain

Although I bare your child, respect I don't gain?

My black boys I urge you to grow into men

See your power that they caged within

Treat your sisters with respect

For we're dying spiritual, mentally and physically

When you're gone you leave your babies crying

Mothers becoming daddies because you're no longer providing

I should have let you go so long ago

Yet for you to come home I'm praying

THE FUTURE.........

THE EGOIST

"I swear by my life and the love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for the sake of mine" – Ayn Rand (Atlas Shrugged)

 

I've noticed everywhere I look, no one is thinking. Most have given up making choices completely. From the simplest things such as asking advice on what to wear, eat, or watch, to more serious matters such as what school to attend or career path to follow. It's becoming clearer to me that people only ask for advice because they're afraid to think. They do not want to be made accountable for their decisions so they placed the decisions in others hands. Yet, it is not simply choice their giving up, it is their will to live. For what is life if not a series of DECISIONS?

sTeAdily it RISE

I hold my breath

God knows I can't take the pain

I'm about to break any day

Yet it keeps coming

Getting stronger

The voices that only I can hear

Cannot be silenced

Death never seemed so sweet

Close my eyes

Drown all out

Let the world pass me

I'm crying tears dry tears

For there's nothing left in me

Evils long push away

Now so steadily they rise

tHese aRe A feW Of mY fAvOriTe tHiNGs...

when sOuls cOllide

Death couldn't deter me from you


When my heart fails to beat


My lung takes its last breath


In eternity we'll meet





I've waited for you before time began


Calling you into existence


This is so much more than love


More than fate, even destiny


You and I are one


Without you there's no me


When my eyes denies your existence


My being feels you all around me


More aware of you then myself


None compares to you





My soul rejoices


To smell your hair


Your embrace


Your smile…OH YOUR SMILE…


God existence is proven in your eyes


It's in your touch


My reaction…


Our bodies collide…


Here in heaven we reside

tHe pUppEt

Wake up

Put on my makeup

Stare in the mirror

I'm all alone

This face I stare into

For the world I put on

Long hair

Don't dare

To cut it

For fear the worlds' strings will lose

No longer a puppet

Brown skin bleached

To fade into their white symmetry

Fake lashes….CHECK!

Fake hair….CHECK!

Leave the house without mascara?

I'll never dare

For if my mask slips away

All that shall remind

Is FEAR

500 $ shoes…CHECK!

Louie V….CHECK!

Chanel, Marc, Fendi……CHECK!

Rents over due

Won't eat for a month

Gotta be thin for you…

Gotta fit in for you…

I've followed the formula to the T

Why am I still not happy with me?

How can I follow my destiny?

When THEY not I is leading me

Ask no questions

Receive no lies

This path you've chosen

Shall be your demised

NigHts sPent In hELL

3 am


Up again


Mind gets no rest


His presence haunts me


Memories of nights spent in hell


Nothing can erase our past


The things you stole can never be replace


My heart you hurt


Yet your face I can't escape


My dreams are evaded with nightmares of you


Pain gives no justice to what I feel


This agony is so unreal


Soul torn in two


This is all cause of you


Sweat dripping from my bones


Wake up to darkness


I am all alone


With all that's left within me


I do not pick up the phone


Though I long to hear you voice


Wishing your arms around me


Silently screaming because I know this will never be


Cursing myself for hoping you come back to me


I close my eyes


Pace my breaths


Pray to God with all I have left


That you are somewhere happy


Though angry at you I ought to be


This emotion never occurred to me

ATLAS SHRUGGED

I stopped in front of Rocafeller Center the other day because of this beautiful statue. I recognized it right away because it is on the cover of the book i reading, "Atlas Shrugged" by Ann Rand. The statue is of Atlas, who in Greek mythology was forced by Zeus to hold the heavens on his shoulders at the edge of Earth, for eternity.

"By harsh necessity, Atlas supports the broad sky
on his head and unwearying arms,
at the earth's limits, near the clear voiced Hesperides,
for his is the doom decreed for him
by Zeus the counselor"

You may have read in my earlier blogs, how much i hate to interpret artist work. However, i will say just this:





In the Novel, the industrialist, inventors and those that challenged ideas went on strike. Choosing Atlas for the cover was simply brilliant. He was forced to carry the weigh of the world on his shoulders, just as the "brains" of America was. Ann Rand demonstrated what would happened if they went on strike and the world was left in the hands of the "looters". looters meaning, those that WANT and expect to reap without work, skill or afford. she depicted a world where the inventors realized their importance and refused to work for the undeserving. in this novel, Atlas shrugs and Rand writes of its consequences.

Photograph by gIz

x.O.x.o, gIz

BIRTHDAY WISHES

SOOO......

I usually never blog about random stuff, my blog has been filled with only poems whenever im inspired. tomorrow is my birthday and i just felt like doing something a little different. my friends have been asking me what i want for my birthday, but as always i reply "NOTHING... REALLY!". being that im turning 21, i have to go to the nearest liquor store ASAP [drink responsively kids ;-)]. just like when i turned 18 i got a pack of cigs. [Note: not a good idea, as im kinda addicted now]. besides indulging in a little LEGAL drugs, i plan to just chill. no huge parties, no getting drunk...in public and NO clubs. I WILL go to school, dissect some animals [Biology], then probably go to MAX BRENNER and get some waffles. those that have gone with me to M.B. knows about the infamous waffles, so sinful. after eating until ill appear pregnant [like my sister, HEhe] i have no clue what ill do. seriously thinking about getting a tat. the problem with that is i have a habit of changing my mind about everything. a tat isnt something you should change your mind about after its there and all. whatever, well see. uH so yEah....ill write again tomorrow with picz of the greatest waffles ever, me prolly passed out somewhere drunk[hopefully not on the street] and of my new tat.

x.O.x.o, gIz

Love Is…

Love is like a kiss


After it's gone, its lingers


Its memories leave a stain


Its presence is always felt


It doesn't change you


It simply causes you


To realize your greatest potential


Love is like the wind


It is always there


Though you may not see it


With every breath you breathe you know it's there


It's right by your side


Caressing your very being


Cooling your soul


Your hair blows in the wind


And you remember love


Love brings no shame


Every kiss


Touch


Caress


It's a breath waited to be taken for all eternity


A demonstration of what can never be said


Energy not destroyed…but transfered





Don't let love go


For when its gone


It's make you feel like you cannot go on


Begging desperately for life to end


In the next life


You'll remember the sin


Of letting love slip away


Regret will be with you for all of your days


Such torture you must endure


This is your pay back


For love you ignored

The Presence

Every time I close my eyes

You come a little closer to me

I feel you on my skin

My soul yearns for thee

I taste you on my lips

OH such memories

When you and I were together… in eternity

In this life, have yet to meet

But I feel you all around me

In the morning when I wake

I smile...

Remembering our time together in my dreams

When the world seems so gray

I know I can make it through my days

For you are with me

Morning comes too quickly

Wanting just to dream

In my unconscious mind, that is when you are most near to me

What torture it is stepping out of bed, away from you

No matter where I am

Thoughts of you flood my mind

Can hardly focus sometimes

Love like this

Cannot be explained

Being connected to you

Disconnects me from the world

one day we'll united

So I shall wait

Patiently

forever longer for thee

GOD's GREATEST CREATION

Not sure why I'm so drawn to you

Maybe its the sadness in your eyes

Your stare screams a silent cry

My soul hears you

When I'm near you i feel faint

WEAK

Unable to catch enough breath to breathe

Your words surround me

Glued to my very being

The inner corners of my mind

Is where i kept you locked away

Your my little secret

Unable to share you with the world

Your beauty can only be seen through my eyes

THEY are not worthy

THEY see and looked away

My eyes stayed glued to you

so divine

Body made of angular planes

With a touch through my body it sends waves

Your existence sustains me

Just the thought of you

The very mention of you name

I know the world still spends

Lost in your insanity

Words do not exist to describes your greatest

One's denial of this fact...must be an antitheist

For you ARE God's greatest creation