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Some "rules" tends to cross over to gray areas and things start to seem unclear. Once you've broken up with someone, should you stick to your decision and accept 'its over!" ? Is it healthy to remain friends with an ex?
These questions occurred to me because many of my friends [myself included] have broken the rule, countless times. You know the drill, immediately after you break up you feel liberated. Then soon after you hear "our song", or catch a hint of their perfume and suddenly you think you need them in your life again. You debate about it for a couple of days, then you finally give in and send a text saying 'wassup" or "how are you". Sooner then later your calling and things seems to be back how they were. Yet, YOUR NOT BACK TOGETHER!!! So when your hanging out [as friends], and a guy/girl calls their phone you get upset and emotional. You suddenly realize things are not the same, you are no longer together and they are no longer committed to you.
so.... SHOULD YOU STICK TO THE ITS OVER RULE? From experience i say YES YOU SHOULD! Sometimes things will remind you of good times share with an ex. However you must remember, that person is a ex for a reason. So my best advice is REMEMBER THE REASON...& MOVE ON.
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I agree... I know too many people who break up, then get back together and it's just an emotional roller coaster that they don't need to be on. It was over the first time, they should move on.
ReplyDeleteI agree with "the rule". I cannot be friends with my exes. no matter how we broke up (smoothly or the hard way). Just remember why you broke up with him/her in the first place. that would makes you disgusted to ever hang out with him/her again...
ReplyDeletePS: Thanks for your visit to my blog :)
I think you must be careful to draw any rules. How do you know that you two aren't destined to be soul friends and not soul mates. We mind regret keeping in touch with someone that we've become very close to. You care for that person...maybe not as a love but definitely as a friend. So let's ignore the rules and look at what's the reason why we set them up in the first place. It's fear!
ReplyDeleteWe have fear that we can't be strong enough to keep the relationship broken up. we have fear that we'll get back together with that person and everything will be worse. That we'll be in the same mess as before. No if the reason for the rules being set up is fear, then we know we can be in control. We have to be in control. That's the hard part.
To be disciplined to say "no" we can't be lovers. No we can't be boyfriend/ girlfriend. No we can't have a romantic relationship. That the trick. If you can say No...with conviction and follow through then there's no reason not to be friends.